


Trapped (And I Can't Reach You)

by Clare_Hope



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Claustrophobia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-22 10:13:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20872502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clare_Hope/pseuds/Clare_Hope
Summary: Lup hadn't always been claustrophobic, but it had certainly started long before getting trapped inside the umbrastaff.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Like 3 people said theyd read this on Tumblr (@johannsviolin if you're interested!) so here it is! I think it's 4 chapters, I'll post one every day until it's done.

Lup hadn't always been claustrophobic, but it had certainly started long before getting trapped inside the umbrastaff. Being stuck in an enclosed space without any way out was a recurring experience for her, and it never got any easier.

The first time, she had Taako had been very young. They weren't sure exactly how old they were, but still children, before they could read or write. It was one of the relatives they had stayed with, and this one was particularly awful. A cousin of some sort. Lup could no longer even remember his name. He had sent Taako out on some errand. Lup had been trying so hard to help the cousin, but she had just gotten under his feet and tripped him. After the third time, he became furious. He grabbed her by the collar, dragged her upstairs, and locked her into a cupboard. She had screamed and cried, but nobody could hear her. Nobody except her cousin was allowed upstairs, so nobody would be able to find her.

Later, Taako would tell her that their cousin had told him she had been sent on another errand as well. He didn't even start looking for her until late that night, when their cousin went off to the tavern. He got worried when Lup wasn't back after dark and searched the house. Lup had heard footsteps and recognized them as Taako's. She screamed for him.

A few seconds later, the cupboard door was open. Lup was wailing as Taako pulled her out and hugged her tightly. "Why were you  _ in there _ ?" he asked.

"H-he locked me in," Lup cried. "I w-was in his way, s-so he…" She was hiccupping with sobs and couldn't get any more words out.

Taako shushed her. "We gotta get out of here," he said. And he held her hand as he went through the house, finding a bag and sticking everything possibly useful into it: food and clothes and a couple of books that they could barely read the titles of. 

She couldn't stop crying and gasping for air. It had felt like she couldn't breathe, trapped in that cupboard. "Koko, I can't breathe!"

"Lulu? Lulu, you're out, you're safe! Did he  _ hurt _ you?"

Lup shook her head. She didn't think she was hurt. So why did it feel like something was tied around her ribs, squeezing and squeezing so her lungs didn't work?

The bag was packed. Taako tied it around his waist and put his hands on Lup's shoulders. "Lulu, we're gonna run away," he said seriously. "Are you gonna be okay running?"

Tears still streaming down her cheeks, she nodded. Hand in hand, the twins left. They fled for three days, to the house of an aunt they had been close to before their parents died. She welcomed them with surprise and joy. Those ten years were the happiest in the twins' childhood, and they were over far too quickly.

Another distant relative was coming that afternoon to take them. The twins were somewhere in their late teens now: still very young for elves, but not exactly children anymore. "I don't want to go with him," Lup whispered.

Taako was wiping away his tears roughly with the back of his hands. "Me neither."

"We could run."

"Yeah. Yeah, let's do that." Taako flinched. "I can hear someone outside."

"What do we do?"

"Let's hide!" He grabbed her arm and ran into the back room. There was a closet there, filled with old coats and blankets, and it was deeper than it looked. Taako had hidden food there for the first few years that they lived here, before they realized that they would never have to disappear in the middle of the night again. He threw the door open and gestured for Lup to get in first.

She froze. "I can't."

"What?"

"I c-can't go in th-there!"

Taako's eyes flashed with understanding. "Lulu, we  _ gotta _ ," he said. "I'll be with you. Here, I'll go first." He stepped into the closet, pushing back behind the first row of coats, his arms held out for her. "Come on! Come with me."

Holding back a panicky gasp, she followed. The door shut behind them, plunging them into darkness. She whimpered. "Koko?"

His hand found hers. "I'm here. Shhh, we have to be quiet. Come with me, keep walking forward. Come towards my voice." He kept guiding her in deeper, whispering soothingly and tugging on her hand. "Here, we're as far back as we can be, in the little nook in the corner. Nobody can see us here."

Lup pressed herself as close to him as she could. He wrapped his arms around her and shushed her again.

"We'll be okay," he whispered. "I'm here."

With Taako there, she found it easier not to lose control and start panicking. But her heart still pounded and her breath came too quickly and the walls were closing in around her. "How much longer?" she practically begged.

"Shhhh! I don't know, Lup. We have to stay until he leaves. But we've gotta be quiet!"

She fell silent. Her face was hidden in his shoulder. "It's dark," she breathed.

" _ That _ I can fix." There was a slight  _ whooshing _ sound. "Look up."

Lup looked up. Taako had cast Dancing Lights, a cantrip that he had just learned a few months ago. The tiny pink glows floated around their heads. For a minute, Lup forgot to feel trapped. "You're getting good at that," she murmured.

Taako looked proud.

They heard a  _ thump, thump, thump _ of a couple sets of footsteps coming towards them. Taako quickly waved the lights away, and Lup hid her face again.

"I'm sorry, sir, I thought the children were still here." The confused voice belonged to their aunt's neighbor. "I did think they came back here after the funeral."

Lup felt Taako tense up. She stroked his arm, hoping that would calm him down.

A deeper voice answered. "I believe you. Could they have gone to a friend's house? Perhaps they left something there and wanted to pick it up before we left."

"I don't think the twins had any friends, but we could ask around."

The footsteps walked right past the closet and exited the room. A few seconds later, the front door opened and closed.

Slowly, very slowly, Taako stopped trembling. "Lup. Are you okay?" he said quietly.

"Mm."

"I don't think we can leave just yet. We don't have anywhere to go. Maybe we could slip away after dark, but it's not sundown yet, not for another few hours."

"Koko, I can't breathe in here." Her voice broke.

"Shhh, I know, shhh. Let's sit down." There was hardly enough room to sit side by side. Their hips were pressed together tightly. "Lup, if we can wait it out here, we can leave as soon as night falls," Taako urged, casting Dancing Lights again so they could see each other's faces. "Look, I have a bag already packed for us." He reached out and pulled a bag off one of the shelves.

"I thought you'd stopped doing that?"

"I...packed one when Auntie got sick," he admitted. "In case this happened. But it has enough food for a week or so, until we find somewhere to...I don't know, make money or something."

"How are we gonna do that, Koko? We don't have anything we can do, nobody's gonna hire a couple of stupid kid elves with no talent," Lup pointed out. Her panic might have been making her a little bit harsh, but she didn't think she was exactly  _ wrong _ .

"We can both cook. Someone might--"

"Shh!" Lup put her hand over his mouth. There was movement outside the closet again.

Taako's eyes went wide. He closed his fist, making the light disappear a half-second before the door opened. His breath caught in his throat and he grabbed Lup's hand, holding it so tightly that it hurt.

The coats rustled as someone moved them around, clearly looking for something. "Ah, there you are. I knew you'd kept it, you silly old thing." One of the coats was pulled out of the closet, and Lup recognized the voice as one of their aunt's friends. "I think I'll take you back, now. Bit of a reminder." The closet door closed.

Lup was still holding her breath, but she heard Taako gasp for air and felt his chest rise and fall rapidly.

"I think we're okay," she whispered to him.

"Hm." It was his turn to shove his face into her shoulder, seeking some sort of reassurance.

"Nobody will find us," she said. "A-and you said we can leave after nightfall?"

"Yeah. I think so."

The darkness was getting oppressive again, making the space seem even smaller than it was. Lup could feel herself losing it again.  _ I can't start panicking, Taako needs me!  _ But then she couldn't breathe, and she doubled over with a whimper.

"Lulu?!"

"Sorry!"

"Shhh, shhhh, it's okay!"

"I don't know that I can do this!" Lup was desperately trying not to burst into tears.

"Lulu, you  _ have to _ . For me."

That was enough for her to take a deep, shuddering breath. "Help me," she pleaded.

"Anything. Always. What can I do?"

She needed something to stop thinking about how close all of the walls were, how the air was stale and  _ would they run out of air, would they suffocate in here _ \--

"Please, tell me what to do!" Taako implored, trying to hold her steady and rub her back as she trembled.

"C-can you make the lights again?"

He did, immediately. "More," he said. "What can I do?"

"I-I don't know, talk to me?" She leaned into his embrace, staring at the lights that danced in the air and tried to pretend that they were stars or fireflies or both, and that she was sitting in a wide open field at night with a cool breeze through her hair and Taako sitting beside her.

Taako seemed to pick up on this. Maybe it was obvious from the way she was gazing at the lights with longing, or maybe they really could read each other's mind like they joked about. Either way, he knew what Lup needed. He started telling her a story about what they were going to do when they got out of here, and how someday they'd have somewhere they could be free. "And we can sleep under the stars whenever we want," he continued.

Lup listened gratefully as Taako painted her a picture with his words. She was calm enough now that she was almost falling asleep. 

At some point, Taako started crying. His tears dripped down onto her face, but he didn't stop talking. "And nobody will ever separate us, or...or make us hide in closets, or trap us anywhere we don't want to be." He sniffled. "And we'll be okay."

"Koko…" Lup couldn't keep her eyes open. "Koko, wake me when we're gonna leave."

"You got it."

Years and years later, after several decades cooking for caravans and learning magic wherever they could, the two of them were accepted into the IPRE academy. Both of them were stellar students, fueled by a kind of drive that none of their teachers could understand.

But today, both of them had received their letters after their preliminary applications to the elite exploration group that would be studying the light of creation. And just as Taako was about to run across the hall to revel in the good news with his sister, she burst into his dorm room.

She was  _ sobbing _ .

"What--" He was already standing up and dropping his acceptance letter unceremoniously to the ground, pulling her into a hug. "Lulu, hey! Hey, it's okay, I've got you! What  _ happened _ , honey?"

"They don't want me," she wailed. "Taako, they don't want me!"

Several emotions flashed through Taako's mind all at once. Guilt, confusion, and a sense of  _ how the FUCK did she not get in when I did?!?!? _ were the main ones. Once he saw that he had been accepted, the thought that Lup might not have been never crossed his mind. "What?"

She collapsed into his arms. "They s-said…oh,  _ fuck _ , Taako, I c-can't…"

He shushed her, rocking side to side. He couldn't put his thoughts together. "Lulu, breathe. Tell me what they said."

Through her tears, Lup started to explain. Then she just reached into her pocket and handed Taako a crumpled up piece of paper. He sat down on the bed with her and held her hand while he read it silently.

By the end of the letter, he was  _ fuming _ with anger. According to the letter, Lup had passed every single interview and exam with flying colors...except one. During a survival test, she had gotten trapped inside a simulation tunnel and panicked. The simulation had to be turned off. "I can't fucking believe this," Taako said, voice shaking with fury.

Lup nodded tearfully. "I know, I was so stupid--"

" _ What _ ?!" Taako shouted. He crumpled up the paper for a second time, throwing it across the room for good measure. "Damn it, Lup,  _ no _ . Nuh-uh, this is  _ not _ on you. You're the most talented fucking evoker in the academy, the fucking  _ world _ , Lulu, they couldn't hope to get anyone better. Just because you're fucking  _ claustrophobic _ , they think they can just turn you away? Well, fuck them! Taako's out, too!"

She gasped. Her eyes got even shinier, but this time she looked... _ proud _ . "Koko, you got in?"

"It doesn't even fucking matter, because I'm not going anywhere without you."

"What? No, you have to! I...I  _ want _ you to!" Lup told him earnestly, scrubbing away the tears on her face. "If I can't go, you have to, and you have to tell me everything when you get back. Taako, you can do this for both of us!"

"Lulu, look at me." Taako wasn't sure if he had ever sounded this serious in his whole life. From the way that Lup instantly locked eyes with him, he was pretty sure he hadn't. "There is  _ no way in hell _ that I'm leaving you behind on some kind of mission like this. We're a package deal, baby. If these people want me so badly, they're gonna have to let me bring a plus one."

She didn't say anything.

"You do want to go, don't you?"

"Of course I do," she answered.

Taako stood up. "And you trust me."

Lup nodded, of course. "With my whole heart."

"Stay here." He bumped their foreheads together briefly. "I'll be back." With that, he marched out of the room. He returned two hours later and silently got into bed.

"Should I stay?" Lup whispered.

Taako only nodded.

The next day, she received another letter apologizing for the mistake and informing her that the IPRE would love to have her aboard their very first mission. She never asked how Taako had done it, and he never told her. But when they watched their home get devoured, both of them were having exactly the same thought.

_ I'm so fucking glad that we're together. _

__


	2. Chapter 2

One by one, the cycles passed by. Lup didn't feel the need to tell her friends (who were quickly becoming her family, and didn't that just terrify her?) about her claustrophobia. It just didn't come up. And sure, she had to awkwardly turn down Magnus's offer of a blanket fort after he managed to convince everyone else except Dav to join, but that was only a few times. The rest of the time, she was happy to join the team cuddle piles.

And if Lucretia sometimes gave her searching looks when she insisted that someone else be sent into tight spaces to look for something, well, Lucretia's whole  _ job _ was to notice things. Lup couldn't fault her for that.

It wasn't until over twenty cycles had passed before her secret was revealed. Everyone but Davenport and Lucretia, who stayed with the ship, went exploring in a huge cave where it was rumored the light had been washed into by the river. The cave was so wide and tall that Lup had no problem with it. She was joking and laughing with Magnus, poking fun at Barry for something she couldn't even remember afterwards, when there was a crumbling sound.

Crumbling may have been an understatement. A roar like thunder crashed through the cave, and the ceiling began to cave in. All five of them screamed, and they grabbed ahold of each others' hands as they ran, trying to find a sturdier part of the cave. "Everybody, get  _ down _ !" Taako shouted, and they all listened to him. They fell flat on their stomachs and put their hands back to protect their necks. Taako shot spells up into the air, several Gusts of Wind and a few transmutation spells like he was trying to make the rock lighter. Lup had just enough time to see him drop to the ground as well. Then something hit her head, and everything went dark.

She groaned as she woke up. "Everything hurts," she moaned.

"Lulu,  _ don't move _ , and do not open your eyes." Taako sounded incredibly urgent. "Do you hear me?"

"Y...yeah?" But now she was afraid. Her voice echoed strangely where she lay, like the roof was only a foot above her. "Taako, what happened?"

"Don't open your eyes, don't move," he ordered. "I'm coming to you."

Her shoulder throbbed. She had a feeling it was dislocated. "Gods, this hurts!"

"Lup, are you okay?" called Magnus worriedly.

"I can't even see her under all that," Merle answered.

"Hey guys, shut the  _ fuck _ up," Taako called.

_ Under all-- _ Despite what Taako had told her, she reached up behind herself with her uninjured arm. Almost immediately, she touched cold stone.

_ Trapped. Trapped, can't move. Can't move, breathe, breathe, breathe-- _

"Taako?" she said. "Taako,  _ help me _ \--"

"I'm coming, Lulu, I promise!"

Lup couldn't hold still anymore. She arched her back and felt herself touch the stone again. Then she opened her eyes. With her head turned to the side, her cheek flat against the stone floor, she could see exactly how much space she had, and it was not enough. Not nearly enough. A horrified scream tore its way out of her throat.

"Oh, gods!" cried Barry. "Lup, are you alright?"

She kept screaming. "Get me  _ out of here _ , get me out, or I'm gonna fucking  _ blast  _ my way out, I can't--Taako! Taako, help me, please! I can't breathe, can't--"

"Lulu, if you try to blast your way out, you are going to kill all of us," Taako said. "Lay  _ still _ , I swear to you that I will have you out of there in less than five minutes, but you have to stay still, please!"

Hyperventilating, Lup could barely hear him. She wanted to thrash around and explode something and get rid of this...this  _ coffin _ . The control she normally had over her emotions disappeared entirely while she was trapped like this. Pure, sheer terror was all she could feel. The agony in her shoulder paled in comparison.

"Stay still, Lup, take a breath. I'm right here, only a few feet away. Just go completely limp for me, come on now," urged Taako. "I'm gonna be casting spells, but I can't risk it if you're still moving."

_ Limp, go limp. _ That was a little too much to ask, but she did become still. All of her limbs were rigid with paralyzing fear.

"Lulu, are you still?"

"Y-yeah.  _ Hurry. _ "

"Doing the best I can, baby," Taako mumbled, deep in concentration.

"Can we help?" Magnus asked.

"When I tell you to. Shut the fuck up until then."

Lup dragged her hand up to her mouth and bit down on her sleeve. She tasted dirt, dust, and a little bit of blood, but at least this way she wouldn't scream again. The fact that she wouldn't even be able to roll onto her side or raise her head if she tried to sit up made another wave of blinding terror hit her. She was sure that her whimpers and sobs were echoing around all that remained of the cave, alerting everyone to her distress. If she had any emotional room left for anything other than panic, she might have been embarrassed.

"Hold on," Taako told her. His voice sounded very close. "Lu, I'm gonna transmute this stone into something lighter so we can move it. It might make things shift around, but I  _ promise _ nothing is gonna fall on you. You are gonna be okay."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "Please hurry," she begged.

"I  _ am _ , Lulu." There were some awful sounds as her prison creaked around her. Taako sounded strained as he called out, "Magnus, some help now."

Things were shifting. Lup panted, telling herself  _ he's coming, Taako's here _ .

"Lulu, I can see your legs," Taako said. A comforting hand touched the back of her knee. "If we can move just one more thing, we can pull you out. I'm gonna deal with the stone, Magnus will pick you up. Okay?"

"Uh-huh!"  _ Anything, as long as it's done quickly. _

Merle's voice chimed in. "Is she hurt? Hey, Lup, are you hurt?"

"Uh-huh," she confirmed again. "N-not really bad."

"Magnus, now," Taako said, and the stone that had hit her shoulder and was partially pinning her down was gone.

Eyes still closed, Lup felt herself being lifted up. Her face was a mess of tears and blood and her shoulder throbbed. Magnus was being incredibly gentle, but still, it  _ hurt _ to be moved. "Taako?" she whimpered involuntarily.

"He's right behind us, we gotta get out of the cave," Barry assured her.

"I'm here, Lup!" Taako added. "Hang on."

"I won't drop you," Magnus promised.

"I know, I know."  _ Not trapped anymore. _

Merle called out, "I see the entrance to the cave!"

Lup relaxed just a tiny bit when they were out of the cave. The late afternoon sun warmed her face. If her torso hadn't been so bruised, she would have been able to breathe easily now. But she still didn't open her eyes.

"I'm setting you down on the grass," Magnus said as he did so. He patted her hand softly. "You're safe now."

"Where does it hurt?" Merle asked pragmatically. He touched her cheek, casting a general healing spell that reduced some of the aching in her body.

"My shoulder is dislocated," she told him.

Then she felt pounding footsteps through the ground as Barry and Taako caught up with them. They had been slightly behind, casting spells to ensure that the rest of the cave didn't collapse before they got out.

"Lup? Lup!" Taako cried. "Are you okay?"

"'m alright," she murmured, finally opening her eyes. The concerned expression on her brother's face wavered into focus above her. "I'm okay now."

He brushed her hair away from her face. "You're bleeding," he said, voice breaking.

"I'm  _ fine _ ," she insisted. "Just some scrapes and bruises other than my shoulder."

"Your shoulder?" Taako touched her arm. "What's wrong with it?"

"Dislocated," Merle explained for her. "Don't worry, it can be put back into place and she'll be just fine in a few days. We aren't losing her this time."

"Lup, I'm sorry," Taako said, taking her hand. "I...I thought that what I was casting would protect all of us, but I missed something, I couldn't--"

"Not your fault." Lup was trembling again, the after-effects of panic flooding her system. "Taako?"

He pulled her into his arms quickly. "You're okay, you're okay," he whispered. "Hey, breathe. You're okay now."

"Can I fix your shoulder now?" Merle asked. "Longer we wait, the more it'll hurt."

"Go for it, my man," Lup said shakily. She squeezed Taako's hand and barely flinched as her shoulder was popped back into place. "Thanks, Merle."

"We gotta get back to the ship," Magnus said. "They probably heard the collapse, Lucy and Dav are gonna be worried."

Taako nodded. "Lulu, can you walk?"

"Uhhh…" The look on her face said it all.

"Right." Taako started trying to stand up with her in his arms.

" _ No _ ," Magnus and Merle and Barry all said simultaneously.

"Taako, you just exhausted every single one of your spell slots in a span of ten minutes," Barry pointed out.

" _ You're  _ exhausted," Merle added.

"As well as some spell slots I don't even think you have," continued Barry. "I'm not actually sure how you're still conscious. I'm sorry, we're not going to let you carry her for two miles. You could barely keep yourself upright when we came out of the cave."

Taako glared at him. "Hey, Bluejeans? Fuck you. I'm carrying my sister."

"Koko, he's right," Lup said.

With those three words, Barry looked relieved and Taako looked half-resigned. "But Lu--"

"No, Barry is right. I'd rather you didn't kill yourself with exhaustion, y'know. Mags can carry me." She stared at him calmly, communicating her stubbornness through unwavering eye contact.

"Fine," Taako muttered. "Are you okay?" He wasn't talking about her shoulder or the scrapes on her face.

"I will be. Come on, we should go back to the ship. We've got to think up a new plan to get the light before it's too late."

Taako reluctantly let go of her so Magnus could pick her up again. They began the trek back to the ship. About half a mile in, Taako slowed down significantly. Lup watched him. His eyes were half-closed with weariness.

"Barry," she said quietly. "Please catch him."

"What--" Barry yelped as Taako suddenly collapsed, grabbing him by the arms before he could hit the ground. "Taako, are you alright?"

"Let go of me," he mumbled. "I'm fucking fine."

Lup tapped Magnus on the shoulder. "I think I can walk for a while, big guy. Thank you." She was set down. Despite some shakiness and an aching head, she managed to walk over to Taako and Barry. "C'mon, Koko." With Taako's arm over her shoulders and hers slung around his waist, leaning on each other, they continued onwards. Merle, Magnus, and Barry walked close by, ready to catch them if they stumbled.

Back at the ship, Lucretia and Davenport were extremely relieved to have their friends safely returned. "We could hear something like thunder, did the cave collapse?" asked Dav.

"Yeah, but Taako was amazing!" replied Magnus. "He kept most of it from falling on us."

"Lup, are you injured?" Lucretia asked, worried.

She tightened her grip on Taako's waist. "Yeah, little bit. Some of the falling rocks just couldn't resist hitting me. I think they had a  _ crush _ on me, get it?"

Lucretia didn't seem to know whether or not to laugh. Taako snorted.

"But I'm mostly healed up," Lup continued. "Me and Taako are gonna go rest. He's been asleep on his feet the whole way back after using every single one of his spell slots." She tugged Taako down the hallway into his room and closed the door behind them, not wanting to face any more questions from anyone.

Taako sat down on the floor instead of taking the extra three steps to reach the bed. He then decided that sitting upright was too difficult. Slumped over onto the ground, he mumbled, "I'm gonna sleep right here."

"No, you're not. Idiot. C'mon, let's get you into bed."

"Noooo," he whined, resisting her attempt to pull him to his feet and shove a pajama shirt at him. 

Exasperated, Lup gave up. She sat down right next to him. "Can't you just let me take care of you?"

He fell silent.

"Taako?" Lup waited. "Taako. What's wrong?"

More silence.

She prodded his side, which got her an indignant squeak but still no answer. "Koko, it's not your fault that I got hurt. You know that, right?"

At that, he mumbled something and turned his head away.

"You're silly," she informed him.

"I couldn't protect you."

She poked him again. "You're  _ silly _ ," she insisted. "We'd all have died without you today."

"Doesn't matter, I couldn't protect  _ you _ ."

Lup sighed. "Taako, I'm alright."

He rolled over to look at her. His eyes were shiny. "You were scared, and I couldn't reach you," he said simply. "I never want to not be able to reach you when you're scared."

"Oh...okay, Koko. Let's talk about this more after you've gotten some rest, okay? Please let me take care of you," Lup requested. "You really need to sleep. Barry was right, I'm pretty sure you used a spell slot that you didn't even have."

"Just an extra first level," he muttered. He let his sister help him into bed.

"You still could have passed out. Not smart, Koko."

"...saved you with it," he added in a whisper.

Lup winced. She sat down on the edge of the bed and put her hand on his back. "Just go to sleep." As he drifted off, she couldn't help but look around the room. It wasn't  _ tiny _ , but sometimes being inside at all was a little too much. "Taako," she said.

"Mmm?" he said, nearly asleep.

She tucked his hair back behind his ear. "I'm gonna go outside once you're asleep. I need some air."

He started trying to sit up. "Are you okay?"

"Shhh, lay down. I'm fine, I promise." She smiled, trying to reassure him. "Really. I just wanted to let you know that I'll be outside if you wake up. Promise."

Taako didn't have the strength to protest. His eyes slipped shut and he was deeply asleep.

Lup pulled the blankets up around him. She stood up quietly. Keeping her breathing slow and deliberate, she walked through the hall and left the ship. She passed by a few of the other team members on her way, but she didn't look at them or talk to them.

She could breathe more easily as soon as she stepped outside. The night had fallen, and this world's three moons were all bright in the sky, leaving it a dark pinkish purple. They had landed the Starblaster in a wide open field of soft grass and yellow wildflowers.  _ It's really beautiful here _ , Lup thought as she walked a short distance away and sat down on the grass.  _ I hope it doesn't get destroyed. _

Lup ended up laying on her back in the field with her hands behind her head. She liked feeling like she could take up space, like she could stretch out and see the sky and not have to worry about being trapped somewhere. She pushed away the memory of the heavy stone pinning her down. That wasn't important now.

There were footsteps approaching. Lup knew it was Barry before she saw him. "'sup, Barold?" she said casually.

"Can I sit here?"

"I won't stop ya."

Barry sat down next to her. He was looking up at the sky as well, the moons reflected in his glasses. Neither of them said anything for several minutes. Then, "Are you okay?"

"I've been asked that a lot today," replied Lup, almost laughing.

"That didn't answer my question." Barry sounded a little nervous at being so bold, but he didn't back off. " _ Are _ you okay?"

She paused. "Yeah," she said eventually. "Mostly. Now."

Barry leaned back on his elbows. "You know," he said, a little bit hesitantly. "I...I'm afraid of the dark."

Lup frowned and turned her head to look at him. "Oh...kay?"

"I just...I mean, I just wanted you to know, it's not...you don't have to pretend that you weren't...scared." Now he sounded  _ really _ nervous, unsure if he was crossing a line. "Earlier. When you got trapped under the rocks."

"Ah." Lup shivered.

"It wasn't--I just, I know it wasn't the injury that scared you, it was something else. And I figured...I mean, it sounded like it was just because you couldn't move. Because you were trapped," Barry said. "And I just wanted you to know that you can talk to me. If you want. Ever."

"Barry." Lup's affection for him had snuck up on her several cycles ago, surprising her by feeling so natural. "You're sweet. Did you know that?"

He coughed. "Um--"

"I appreciate it, I really do. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Hey, Lup? Do you mind if I ask you something personal?"

"You can ask. I might even answer."

"Back home, we had to do some training before we got accepted into the program. I...I heard at one point that someone couldn't get through one of the tests, the one with the tunnel, because of claustrophobia. How did you manage that one?" Barry asked curiously.

_ Oh, shit. _ Lup didn't know how to answer.

"Lup? It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, you can pretend I never--"

"I didn't," Lup stated.

"What?"

"Manage it. I didn't get through it."  _ Damn it. _ A lump was rising up in Lup's throat. Apparently, this was still more of a sore spot than she had thought. "That was me who you heard about failing the test, probably."

"Then how are you--Lup, I'm sorry, but how are you  _ here _ ?"

"I don't know," she said honestly, her voice shaking. She reached up quickly to wipe her eyes. "I mean, I do know. It was Taako. But I don't know how he did it. He got in, I didn't. But here I am."

Barry was quiet for a moment as the implications sunk in. " _ Gods _ , Lup."

"Yeah." She laughed half-heartedly. "Jeez, Barold, you've got me all shaken up now."

"I'm...I'm really sorry. I didn't know. Gods, I'm sorry, I...I'll leave, I didn't mean to make it worse," he said, truly upset.

"No, no...don't leave. It's okay." Lup stretched her hand out towards him. "Stay."

Very slowly, he took her hand. "If you're sure."

"Positive," Lup assured him. "Stay."

"Lup?" Barry said after a few minutes.

"Hm?"

"I'm really glad you're here."

"Aww. Thanks, Barold," Lup said with a genuine smile. They lapsed into a comfortable silence in the soft evening light, underneath a wide-open sky.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the shortest of the four parts, tomorrow's is the longest! Today's is also the one with the most hurt and least comfort, but I promise that tomorrow's will make up for that. <3

The worst part about being trapped in the umbrastaff wasn't the darkness, or pacing the impassable velvet curtains until her non-existent body collapsed into helpless sobs. And that was bad enough on its own; Lup spent over ten years trying to anchor herself to any happy memories she could find so that the overwhelming panic and loneliness didn't destroy her.

No, the worst part was that when Taako found the umbrastaff, he couldn't hear her screaming. And as she quickly realized, he wouldn't have remembered her voice anyway.  _ That _ was the worst part. In her mind, the echo of the words Taako had spoken eighty-something years ago rang out every time she tried pointlessly to cry out for him.

_ You were scared, and I couldn't reach you. I never want to not be able to reach you when you're scared _ , he had said.

"I'm scared, Taako," she whispered one night as her brother lay sleeping in the Bureau's headquarters, one hand on the handle of the umbrella like he had always slept touching his wand growing up, in case he had to leap to his feet and defend himself. He still slept facing the door, too. "Not because of the darkness, or because I'm trapped in this stupid tiny room, but because you can't hear me. And I'm so sorry. I know that you're scared, too, even though you don't know it."

His hand twitched. She got the sense that Taako was dreaming about something. Impulsively,  _ stupidly _ , knowing that using any magic while she was in this state was dangerous and would probably knock her out for a few days, Lup cast  _ Dream _ . It wasn't a normal spell for her, but Davenport had taken a few cycles to teach her some illusion magic. She could do it.

And so she entered Taako's dream. It wasn't anything exciting--he was walking down a corridor and trying to avoid tripping on some weird books on the ground as he headed towards a kitchen. Once he was there, he didn't start getting out any ingredients. He just stood at the sink. The water was running.

Lup had no idea what would happen if he saw her, but she needed to find out. She was  _ so close  _ to him right now, if she couldn't reach out and touch him, talk to him, she thought that she might just break.

"Taako," she said softly.

When he turned around, confused, his eyes alighting on her with no recognition in them at all, she broke anyway. She burst into tears.

"Um--hello," Taako said awkwardly. "Hello, uh...static lady? Are you  _ supposed _ to be kinda glitchy and black and white? Also, why are you crying?"

_ What do I say? _ Lup knew she would only be able to keep the spell up for another couple of minutes. "Taako, do you know who I am?" she asked.

"No...sorry. Hey, are you like… dreamwalking? Are you a person, or are you just a fuckwild bit of my unconscious imagination?" Taako stepped closer to her, narrowing his eyes as he tried to examine her shifting form. "I'm leaning towards the former, 'cause I'm not usually this lucid in dreams."

"Something like that. Don't think about it too hard, Taako, you'll get a nasty headache." Lup stretched her arm out, unable to resist trying to touch him.

"Cool, yeah, thinking hard isn't my forte anyway, fam." Taako frowned. "You're still crying. Do you need help or something?" He patted her hand as she touched his shoulder. Even in a dream, the contact gave her a wave of comfort stronger than anything she had felt in ten years. "You seem like you might need help."

"Let's go somewhere else," Lup said, wishing that she could just throw herself at him and hug him without freaking him out so much that he woke up and kicked her out of his mind. She took a deep breath and raised her hands to the sky.

The scene changed. They were no longer in a kitchen. Instead, they were standing by the edge of a small, clear pond with the sunrise in the distance. The air was just slightly chilly. Some crickets were chirping.

"Well, this is pretty," Taako observed. "Whoever you are, you've sure got some taste in scenery. So, you got some kind of request for me? I will warn you, I am already employed. Don't think I could take on another big quest, even if you need rescuing or whatever."

Lup sat down on the ground, pulling her knees up to her chest. "I don't need rescuing," she murmured, although she probably did. "Actually, I came here to tell you that...I'm okay."

Hesitantly, Taako knelt down next to her. "Listen, lady, I don't know you. I'm glad you're okay, sure, but...why are you in my dream?"

"I...don't know." Lup choked back a sob. "Because I was scared, and I guess I reached out to find somewhere safe to rest."

"And you thought  _ my head _ was a good spot?" Taako laughed. "No offense to your judgement skills, but my head is the opposite of safe. There's a lot of bad shit up in here."

"It's okay, I don't mind." A painful tug in Lup's chest told her that she wouldn't be able to hold the spell up for much longer. "Taako," she said quickly. "I don't have much time. Listen to me, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Haven't got anything better to do than to listen to random dream visi--"

"Stay safe," Lup said, interrupting him as another tug started ripping her away. "Taako, stay safe. You have people who love you, and you're not alone. You're never alone. You've never been alone."

Taako started to laugh bitterly as Lup faded from the dream. "Lady, I don't know what you're talking about. I've always been alone."

Lup scrambled to keep ahold of the dream for just a few more seconds, but everything went dark. Curled up in the corner of the velvet room, her soul ached with grief and exertion. She slipped into unconsciousness, hoping it would hurt less than being acutely aware of just how broken her brother had become.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ready for a loooong final chapter? Here you go! Let me know what you thought of it, please! Love you guys, have a great day! <3

Some months after the day of story and song, a little while after Lup had gotten her body back, she was sitting in the garden of the house that she shared with Barry and Taako and Kravitz, and sometimes Angus and Magnus and Merle and Mavis and Mookie and Davenport and Lucretia and...well, the house was large, and so was their family, even though they were rarely all staying here at once. Recovery was proving more difficult for some of them than for others. Merle seemed well adjusted for the most part and thrilled to have his kids in his life, and Davenport had somehow pushed past the years of trauma and amnesia to go adventuring fairly constantly. He seemed happy.

The twins hadn't found it that simple. Taako was angry more often than not--at himself, at Lucretia, at the whole world. The one person he never lost his temper with was Lup, who could calm him with a single soft word or touch. She suspected that it was because he was terrified of losing her again, but they weren't quite ready for that conversation yet.

Today, as Lup sat on the warm earth in the garden between the herbs that she and Taako used for cooking and the bed of wildflowers that Magnus had requested, she was doing alright. Nothing was  _ good _ , really, but her head was quiet today. Sitting in the sunlight helped. Her family had realized that when she slipped away to sit by herself outside, she needed the space.

Lup had pretty much figured that Taako wasn't going to remember the time that she had stepped into his dreams--not because of Fisher or Junior, of course, but because dreams just faded sometimes. Today, she would be proved wrong.

The back door flew open and then slammed as Taako raced out into the garden. "Lup--" he cried.

Startled, she sat up taller and got ready to leap into action if someone was attacking them. "Taako? What's wrong?"

He fell to his knees next to her, panting. There were tears in his eyes as he grabbed at her hands. "Lup, I just remembered something."

"Okay, alright. What was it?" she asked curiously.

"I...I was standing by the sink and then suddenly it was like a flip had switched and everything just flooded back, and I...Lup! You...you visited me in a dream?"

She gasped. "Oh, gods! You remember that?"

Taako nodded furiously. Guilt and regret colored his countenance. "I have no idea how I forgot about it, I woke up in the morning and I just brushed it off, Lup, I didn't think it was important, I…" He broke down in tears. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

"Don't be!" Lup gathered him close, pulling him into her lap. "Shhh, Taako, hey..."

"You were there the whole time, and I didn't know! Fuck, you were  _ scared _ , and I couldn't reach you!" Taako wailed. "You tried to tell me and I couldn't even listen!"

"It's okay, it's alright," she murmured soothingly. It was all she could do until he had calmed down a little. "I'm right here now. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere. Shhh, it'll be okay."

He whimpered into her shirt. "I'm so sorry," he kept repeating, no matter how many times she shushed him and promised that he was forgiven and that he didn't need to be apologizing in the first place.

"I've gotcha," she whispered as his strength ran out. He shuddered and fell limp and quiet against her. Lup stroked down the length of his back. "You're okay. Take it easy, Koko, just breathe."

Making miserable little gasps for air, Taako looked up at her. His eyes were puffy and red, his cheeks were damp with tears, and his lower lip was trembling. "I'm sorry," he said a final time.

"Taako, will you stay calm while I talk to you about this?" Lup asked.

"I'll try."

She rubbed his back again. "Take another few deep breaths. Focus on me, here, now. Understand that you have nothing to apologize for. It was not your fault."

He said nothing, which at least wasn't an extremely discouraging response. Taako was breathing slowly and deeply at her prompting. He wasn't shaking as much now.

"When I went into your dream--which was a huge use of magic for me in there, it drained me for a week--I really only wanted to tell you one thing. That I was okay."

"But you weren't. How--how could you have been? You told me that you were scared!" Taako said. "And later, now, you've told me that being in there was like being trapped in a dark little room. It must have been fucking  _ awful _ , Lulu!"

"It was! Don't get me wrong, I spent most of the time at first panicking or trying to hide in unconsciousness. And I'm still going to panic if I'm trapped like that again. But I really got used to it after a few years, Koko. I could sometimes cast minor illusion spells without knocking myself out, and I could escape for just a little while, keep myself going." Lup looked up at the pale blue sky, grateful that she could see it for real now. "When you came along and picked me up, I didn't need to do that anymore. I didn't need to expend the energy to do anything other than focus on what was going on with you. So I saved the energy up, and used it then."

"But I don't understand," Taako said.

"What don't you understand, honey?"

He cupped his hand around her cheek tenderly. "Why didn't you ask for help, Lup? Why didn't you tell me where you were? Why not ask me to snap the umbrastaff then and there, let you go free? You could have been free."

"Taako." Lup shook her head with a smile. "First of all, would you really ever snap your wand in half because a weird static person in your dream told you to?"

He wrinkled his nose. "...probably not," he admitted.

"You didn't know who I was. You had no reason to trust me. I didn't come to ask you for help because...well, even if you  _ had _ broken it then, what would that have done? I'd just be a lich with a name full of static and a brother and friends who couldn't remember who I was, trapped on the moon." Lup petted his hair as she talked. She really didn't want him to freak out again.

"Then what was the point?"

"The point? I wanted to see you. I wanted to...to talk to you, even if it hurt me. And I needed to try to reassure you, because you were hurting too, Taako, and I couldn't  _ stand _ it." Lup was now speaking past a painful lump in her throat. Her fingers dug into the soil so that she didn't clutch at her brother hard enough to hurt him.

"Is that why you told me…"

"You have people who love you," Lup said softly, recalling her own words. "And you're not alone. You're never alone. You've never b--" Her voice broke. "Never been--"

It was Taako's turn to sit up and hold her close. "I know, I know," he murmured. "I know, Lup."

"I left you alone," she whimpered.

"Wasn't your fault, shush now."

Lup squeezed her eyes shut tightly, the tears spilling out through her closed eyelids despite her best efforts to keep them dammed up. "It was," she gulped. "If I h-hadn't left to get the gauntlet, if I'd left m-more than a  _ two fucking word note _ \--"

"I mean, that might have been nice, but it wouldn't have stopped us from forgetting," Taako reminded her. "We'd still have gotten separated."

"You don't know that for sure. If I had been alive--"

"Lulu, are you really holding onto guilt about that?" exclaimed Taako. "You can't blame yourself for  _ dying _ , Lup!"

"Oh, sure I can."

"Lup--"

"Taako, when I heard you say that you've always been alone, I  _ shattered _ !" Lup cried. "I broke into a thousand pieces. I…"

"Oh, gods, Lup, I'm so s--"

"And can everyone stop  _ fucking apologizing _ ?!" she added loudly, angrily. "I'm tired of it! Everyone is always just so fucking sorry all the time, and I'm fucking sick of it!"

He recoiled.

"Shit--no, Koko, I'm not  _ mad  _ at you." The fury disappeared as quickly as it had come on. Even so, she pulled back a little as well, giving him space.

"I know." But he was trembling now.

Lup pressed her palms to her temples, breathing hard. "Take a deep breath," she whispered, mostly to herself. She hardly ever lost her temper like that. And certainly not towards her brother.

"Lulu?"

"Just a sec." As the retreating anger left a vacuum inside of her, she felt it quickly filling with other emotions. All of them were bad. Her stomach hurt a little. It felt like she had just been punched in the gut. She winced. Suddenly, it was very hard to breathe.

Hesitantly, Taako touched her knee. "Lup."

" _ Shit _ , I feel terrible," she gasped.

"Yeah, I can tell," he told her, his voice serious. "You just got all pale."

She nodded, heart pounding.

"Lup, you're having a panic attack."

"What?! N-no, I'm not panicking, I--how can I b-be panicking, I'm outside, y-you're here!"

Taako slowly moved to sit next to her, their hips touching. His hand rested softly on her back. "Lulu, I'm gonna need you to breathe with me, okay?"

"I don't understand, why am I panicking?" she asked, her voice high and shaky. "I'm  _ outside _ \--"

"I don't think it's the claustrophobia in this case," he said gently. "C'mon, breathing. Press close to me, follow my lead."

Lup let him take her wrist and put her palm up against his heart. She tried to copy the slow rise and fall of his chest. Underneath her hand, his heart beat quickly and steadily. Despite his calm breathing, she knew that he was worried. "It'll be okay," she managed to tell him.

He let out a short huff of laughter. "Lulu, why are you trying to comfort  _ me _ while you're having a panic attack? Please just worry about breathing, not about me."

As another grip of panic clawed at her stomach, she decided to take his advice. She doubled over. "Koko--" she whimpered. Her hand on his chest curled into a fist, taking a handful of his shirt and crumpling it into a grasp so tight that he wouldn't be able to extract it if he tried.

He didn't try. "Shhh, I'm here. I'm here, Lulu," he promised.

"This  _ sucks _ , Koko."

His voice shook as he told her, "I know. I know, sis, I know." Shushing her again, Taako rubbed slow circles on her back.

The sharp panic started to fade. It was as if whatever switch had flipped when she had the momentary bout of fury had caused something to break loose, but more like a flash flood than anything else. A short rush of overwhelming emotions, and then the waters receded. Lup relaxed against her twin's side. Her fist slowly unclenched, and her hand slid down to rest on his leg.

"Better?" he asked.

"Mmhmm." She put her head on his shoulder, exhausted. "Gods, that was awful."

"Wanna come inside? Or is it better out here?"

Lup was tired of sitting on the ground. She was just tired in general, really. "Inside."

Taako helped her up and they walked through the garden towards the glass double doors that led into their spacious living room. From the next room over, their small personal library, Barry poked his head out. "Hey--oh, okay, are you alright?" he said, his forehead scrunching up in concern.

Taako waved dismissively. "Whatcha mean?"

Barry rushed up to them. "No, don't do that, Taako, not when you two have been crying. I can  _ see _ that, there's no point in hiding from me."

"We were just having a chat in the garden, babe," Lup said with a tired smile. "Just a chat. About...stuff."

He caught on. "Twin stuff. Gotcha."

Lup glanced over at Taako, wordlessly asking if it was alright if she told Barry what they had talked about. Taako shrugged imperceptibly as if to say  _ I guess that's fine _ . "I'll explain, Barr, can we maybe sit down?"

Taako let go of her hand as Barry put his arm around her. "I'm gonna go bake something. Comfort cookies, Lup?"

She looked at him gratefully. "Good idea."

With a thumbs up, Taako left for the kitchen, rubbing at his eyes a little to get rid of the leftover tear tracks.

Lup tucked her feet up onto the couch next to her and leaned her head on Barry's chest. "Taako remembered something," she started. "Um, Barry, when I was in the umbrastaff…" She explained the whole dream-walking thing, how she hadn't expected Taako to remember it, and how it had come back to him on a whim today as dreams are wont to do. Continuing, she glossed over the tears and apologies and anger and panic attack by saying, "Emotions happened, y'know how it is. Both of us are a little shaken up, so just be gentle."

Barry tucked her hair behind her ear delicately. "Gotcha."

Closing her eyes, Lup soaked up the comfort of her husband's touch. She could hear Taako sweeping to and fro in the kitchen as he baked, his steps as predictable as a familiar dance. She could easily imagine herself stepping right beside him. Practiced and perfectly in sync, the two of them could whirl around a kitchen with ease and never bump into each other. It made her sad to think of Taako cooking by himself in the decade she had been gone. Did he notice? Could he somehow tell that the way he moved always left room for someone else to work around him?

There was a gentle tap on her cheek. "Lup?"

"Mm."

"I just asked if you needed anything," Barry said.

"Oops, I didn't hear ya. Just thinkin' bout stuff. No, I don't need anything except some good old-fashioned cuddle time."

"That, I can definitely provide," he replied fondly. "But, uh, copper piece for your thoughts?"

Lup shrugged. "Just thoughts. Definitely not worth any copper."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'll give 'em to Koko later. He won't pay anything they aren't worth." She was joking at this point, but she did make a note to ask Taako those questions later, preferably at a time when both of them were less emotionally fragile and liable to break at any more talk about their past pain.

"Ah," Barry acknowledged.

Lup yawned and snuggled closer. "I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me up when the cookies are done. If Mamma Bird calls, tell her we're taking the rest of the day off."

"Will do, lovely."

She fell asleep, waking up again when the front door opened. The air now smelled of baking cookies. Barry was snoring very softly, and Lup stifled a giggle.

"Hello, love," called Kravitz. The door closed, and Lup heard his footsteps wandering towards the kitchen.

"Shhh, it's naptime in the living room!" hissed Taako.

"Ah, sorry. Oh--" Kravitz paused. "Who's having a rough day? You're making comfort cookies."

"You catch on quick," Taako said approvingly.

"Is everything alright?" Now Kravitz sounded worried. "Taako--oh, okay, hello. You needed a hug? Alright, love, I've got you."

"Me 'n Lup had some emotions, we're okay now," Taako explained. His voice was a bit muffled. Lup figured that his face was probably hidden in Kravitz's chest. "The cookies are just gonna help. They'll be out of the oven in five minutes."

"Is Lup okay?"

"She's napping. She'll be okay."

"What happened, darling? Do you want to talk about it?" asked Kravitz.

"Not...really, but Lup told Barry, so I should probably tell you," Taako sighed.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Kravitz assured him.

"Yeah?"

"Of course."

"Mm-kay, I'm not gonna, then," Taako said. "Just don't feel like talking." There was a few minutes of quiet. "I've gotta get the cookies out. Go wait in the living room?"

Kravitz murmured something inaudible and came into the living room. He went over to the large, cozy armchair by the window and settled in before seeing that Lup was awake. "Hey, Taako said you were napping. Are you alright?"

"Just woke up a couple minutes ago, Krav. How's work?"

"One pretty tame bounty. I doubt you and Barry will be asked to do anything today. Things have been quiet recently," he answered.

"Good. I'm too tired to reap anyone." Lup felt Barry shift and wake up next to her. "Hey, babe. I thought  _ you _ were gonna wake  _ me _ ?"

"Did I fall asleep? Oops." Barry started playing with a lock of Lup's hair. "Guess I really am turning into an old man. Well, I'm somewhere around 150 years old, I think I'm allowed."

"And you don't look a day over fifty," Lup teased. "Or like, 400 if we're talking elf-age."

"Mmhmm," he sighed.

Taako walked into the room, holding a plate of cinnamon chocolate chip cookies. "I come bearing the best comfort food in the planar system," he announced.

Lup made grabby-hands at the plate. "C'mere, I need like six." She took three of the cookies, which were perfectly crisp around the edges and soft in the center, hot enough from the oven that the chocolate chips were fully melted but not so hot that they burned her tongue. Taako had long since perfected the recipe as non-dairy, so Barry took one as well.

"Y'know," Barry said, "I didn't even have a rough day and these make me feel so much better."

Kravitz was struggling a little to eat his cookie with Taako draped in his arms, but he nodded his agreement.

"They don't even need magic to be magic," Taako said proudly. "I'm just  _ that _ good, natch."

"You're better at making these than I am," Lup conceded. "I'm convinced that Auntie told you something extra about them. I can never quite get them right."

Taako tapped the side of his nose. "I'm not saying nothin'. Secret ingredients are secret even from my sister."

Lup stuck her tongue out. "I could figure it out if I wanted to. I just like sitting back and letting you do all the work."

" _ Sure _ ," Taako said skeptically. "That's definitely it. I'm not better at baking than you are or anything."

Pretending to be offended, Lup gasped and glared dramatically, making briefly as if she was going to stand up before collapsing back down against Barry's side. "The nerve! Krav, tickle him for me, I'm too tired to get up."

"Don't you da-- _ hey _ !" Taako started laughing.

"Sorry, love, she scares me more than you do," Kravitz apologized.

Lup smiled and put her head on Barry's shoulder, watching as Taako squirmed off of Kravitz's lap and rushed over to the couch. Instead of trying to retaliate, he just flopped down next to her, still giggling a little. "Rude," he sniffed.

She ruffled his hair. "Serves you right, insulting my baking skills."

"I didn't  _ insult _ them! I'm better at baking than you, just a fact." He ducked down and nestled his head against her side. "Admit it."

Lup chuckled. "Maybe so."

"Hm," Taako said, satisfied. He settled down a little, still leaning against her.

Looking down at him, Lup noticed his eyes slowly closing. She glanced at Kravitz and motioned for him to come and join them. There wasn't quite enough room for a fourth person on the couch sitting side by side, so Kravitz came and scooped Taako up easily into his lap, making sure his head still rested against his twin.

"I'm gonna nap," announced Taako. "If any of you try to tickle me again, I'm leaving and finding somewhere else to sleep."

"We won't," Lup assured him. "The rest of the cookies  _ might _ be gone before you wake up, though."

He acknowledged it with a hum. "Go for it," he mumbled sleepily.

"Do you need anything from us, love?" asked Kravitz.

Taako thought about it for a minute before reaching up and pulling Lup's hand down to rest on his hair. Then he took Kravitz's hand. "'m good now," he said. "Stay with me?"

"I'm not going anywhere," Lup said.

He glanced up at her gratefully and then closed his eyes with a sigh. He murmured something under his breath.

"Sorry, what was that?" Barry asked.

Taako's lip twitched up in a half-smile. "I said 'I love you guys.' Nerd."

"Ah. Love you, too," replied Barry.

Kravitz squeezed his hand. "Love you, too, darling," he agreed.

Lup bent her head to touch her cheek to the top of his head. "Love you," she said softly. Her gaze rose to the doors that overlooked the garden. She could see the sun streaming in through the glass, the expanses of the yard across the room that was  _ all theirs _ , where they could be free and together and safe for however long their forever was going to be. Lup remembered the time back when she and Taako had been young (and in retrospect, they had been  _ so _ young), trapped inside of a closet and whispering to each other about a someday and somewhere they would never be trapped again, where they could always reach each other.

_ "And nobody will ever separate us, or make us hide in closets, or trap us anywhere we don't want to be," _ he had told her, his childish voice echoing in her memory. It had only been a dream then, something distant and unattainable: a wish to get them through the hard times. Well, the wish had come true. And Lup was glad.

The two children in that closet deserved their happy ending. Whatever bumps in the road they may still encounter, here it was. They had finally found it, and it meant sitting together on a couch on a Thursday afternoon, napping in the sunlight with the people who loved them.

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, @johannsviolin on Tumblr!


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